Pound for Pound

I probably just spent a good half hour or more looking through blogs on Tumblr of girls and their desire to be skinny. Or thin. Or skeletal? I’m sure not all the girls I observed with motivational pictures of girls whose bones are jutting from their hips and wearing skanky to no clothes want to be this thin. Granted their motivational pictures sometimes have their personal motivational quotes to keep them from falling back on themselves. I can say after reading every single photo that was posted on one blog-site I was feeling very lower-lip trembly.

I, myself, have been struggling with my weight for years. Pretty much my entire life. When I was in high school, I was wearing a size 22 pants (if I remember correctly) I’ve lost a lot of weight since then, now a 14-16, but I still feel unaccomplished. I may have lost a lot but I still have the flaws that are stopping me from enjoying my losses properly.

I have a gut. Not a beer-belly. Or a little “baby bump”. But a gut. When I sit down it likes to sit slightly near the top of my thighs. When I stand I try not to relax my stomach for the fear of potentially hitting somebody.

“We are our own worst critics”, it’s the truth! I may criticize myself regularly, however, I do get unsolicited help.

I hate the fact that I’m a low income post-secondary graduate working 2 jobs and can’t afford a new pair of runners or even have the chance to get out and do a required workout more often than once a month.


I think because of my situation I’m forcing things into my body that shouldn’t be there. I eat frequently, but not what would be considered healthy food. Some of it is, just when I feel really low, it’s not the greatest in health.

I set myself up for failure. I probably shouldn’t. I’d have a greater amount of progress if I’d stop.


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