An Opening Statement: My Autobiography

Warning the following you are about to read will either bore you or give you a great amount of insight into a world you’ve never experienced. Welcome to the reality-based story of a girl, her blog, her life and everything that she has seen, heard or expressed throughout her life. Enjoy and don’t be afraid to put this down as it has been known to give seizures or job-loss.

So due to the fact that I have no imagination I figured I’d hunt down a topic for today. The topic I wound up finding was:

You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

I never intend on writing an autobiography because I have lead nothing exciting or discovered or traveled to exotic locations worth bragging about. Apart from every Tom (Steve Jobs), Dick (Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Harry (Kris Jenner) who’s ever written something because it seemed to have been their calling at that point, even if it never is a bestseller. I just don’t have the right “umpf” to really put together something long enough to be called “a book”. I’m a short story writer, I think that’s why I chose blogging over paperback. However, I say this with the utmost respect for people who do believe they can write anything! I do believe that maybe one day when I’m old and grey that I might potentially have a story to write, but until then I’ll stick to trying to make myself popular or a “star” in the blogosphere.

I know my opening sentence is super lame, but that’s okay. It’s a statement that can be molded and developed over time. I feel like it was meant to sound like a toxic waste container that held more than just sludge. I’m more than just sludge and believe that people should not hold my autobiography with a high expectancy that it’ll hit them and relate to them. I want to know they are taking a glimpse into my past and present life. There may be things that might disturb the crap out of their soul or amuse them to the point where wetting themselves almost makes sense. I know I don’t live an extremely thrilling life, but I’m sure reading my autobiography would be like reading a copy of “Chicken Soup for the Soul”, I’d have the good, the bad, and the ugly all compiled into one manuscript. You may like one story but the title of the next might sound dull so you’ll skip it and may never touch it again until you’re years older.

Maybe I’ll develop or grow with my audience. I’ll be a young J.K. Rowling and her Harry Potter series, but I won’t have a series. It would be just one novel, or perhaps a memoir. However, I hope that when I pass-on that I won’t need a book to be remembered by.  Perhaps I’ll write it in the form of a journal. I would tell a story in the style of recollection, describing what I saw a few days ago or ate years ago and remembered how delicious the sauce or texture was on my tongue. Maybe I’ll inspire somebody to do different, those are difficult to create. Aspiring that your biography doesn’t sound like a self-help book.

The choices are endless and time doesn’t stand still for no man. I’m sure when the time comes I’ll know when and what I should write about, and it may never have to do with my own life. I will keep you posted of that day, if it should come. Peace & love, my delightful followers, our present is only shaped by our past and we mustn’t let our past completely shape who we are in the future.



2 thoughts on “An Opening Statement: My Autobiography

  1. Wow, wonderful blog structure! How lengthy have you been blogging for? you made blogging glance easy. The whole look of your web site is magnificent, let alone the content!

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