Growing up I always took it as a compliment. I think anybody who has heard this probably all took it the same way; it was positive. Could be a stranger or a good friend but when they used this phrase it always sounded good.
You have nice eyes.
Yea, that phrase. Now I’ve grown up. I’ve suffered a few crushed-heartbreaks and now I’ve realized a few things.
1. I must not of had a lot going for me.
Girls with those big brown eyes and nice brown hair. I was pretty much a typical girl with nothing but a chubby.. everything and big sparkly brown eyes. The ones that played on emotion, they never hid anything. But that was the compliment. I’m not saying that as a child it was a bad thing. I also used to get: “Look how much you’ve grown” and “You’re starting to turn into a young lady” or “You’re so smart”. Brains. Height. Yet nothing definitive. My family all being the nice people they are would compliment me on my appearance, yet I think back on the outfits I’ve worn and things I played with, I’m sure I wasn’t as charming as they portrayed me to be.
2. Society sucks.
I say this with a sort of empathetic compassion. Really, you gotta love society and the way they’ve been brain-washed. (Really if you’re offended by what I’m saying, I’m half-sorry, since I know for a fact I wasn’t brought up as appearance being the one-and-all that makes a person). I’m going to admit it. I was a “big girl”, I was probably a little weightier than I should’ve been, but I was healthy. I swam, ran/walked, rode my bicycle and played with toy guns with my younger brother and some friends who camped close by throughout the summer. During the winter I was cross-country skiing, skating and ski-doing. I was a happy, healthy little girl. I was also one of the heavier kids in my class. Being born in a small town of less than 3000 people there would be a lot of discrimination about the overweight girl. But my friends didn’t start picking on that until later in our young years. I was picked on by some of my classmates that would also have a little extra meat on their bones. It’s a sad cruel world we live in, no?
But I always had my eyes.
I was always comfortable in my skin. I remember years ago, like junior high- grade 9, my mother and I went shopping for a winter jacket. We wound up starting at a ladies clothing store: Reitmans. It was a nice adult store and we went into the plus section to let me try a few jackets on. I tried one in my usual size, didn’t fit, we did this frequently because I had broader shoulders (curse you father :)) B
Otherwise I was still happy. I found clothes that I liked and wore them until there were holes in them. I was comfortable with myself. I never let society really get to me.y the time we found a jacket that “fit” me, I was in a 4X, I looked like I was wearing a circus tent in blue canvas. It was embarrassing. We didn’t actually find a coat until a trip to Edmonton where Sears was having a clearance sale of their winter stock. A mens jacket, burnt orange in color and down filled, it was amazingly warm and had faux-fur trim around the hood. I was happy, but disappointed that I had to buy mens clothing to fit me.
I’m an adult now. A few years back I was told I was a “good girl”. Too much of one actually. He refused to date me because of this. I knew he was lying. That’s the problem with a lot of a young men, they assume that my body was incapable of being in the relationship. They worry too much about how they are viewed by their peers. Chubby-chaser, anybody? I believe over the years I’ve compensated for my body with a great personality, easy-going disposition and overall great attitude towards anybody and everybody.
I don’t even know what “Good girl” means! Honestly. My guy described me as a good girl the other day, he couldn’t explain it to me. I don’t know how to take it. I take it as a compliment, nearly 3-years of the same relationship, he’s called me all the pretty names: beautiful, loving, caring, etc. But ‘good girl’ just has a ring that says, “you take things too much to heart”, am I wrong? Maybe I’m off, I’m not sure.
It’s all a lot of mush now. I don’t let society oppress me from what I want to do. I am more self-aware of myself. So needless to say after this long I’ve finally allowed the media to get into my head with their instant weight-loss, magic pills and their ads with tiny models. I never let it get to me completely. I’m happy with who I am, but I know I can do better.
And that’s the difference.