You’re Too Much of a “Good Girl”

Growing up I always took it as a compliment. I think anybody who has heard this probably all took it the same way; it was positive. Could be a stranger or a good friend but when they used this phrase it always sounded good.

You have nice eyes.

Yea, that phrase. Now I’ve grown up. I’ve suffered a few crushed-heartbreaks and now I’ve realized a few things.

1. I must not of had a lot going for me.

Girls with those big brown eyes and nice brown hair. I was pretty much a typical girl with nothing but a chubby.. everything and big sparkly brown eyes. The ones that played on emotion, they never hid anything. But that was the compliment. I’m not saying that as a child it was a bad thing. I also used to get: “Look how much you’ve grown” and “You’re starting to turn into a young lady” or “You’re so smart”. Brains. Height. Yet nothing definitive. My family all being the nice people they are would compliment me on my appearance, yet I think back on the outfits I’ve worn and things I played with, I’m sure I wasn’t as charming as they portrayed me to be.

2. Society sucks.

I say this with a sort of empathetic compassion. Really, you gotta love society and the way they’ve been brain-washed. (Really if you’re offended by what I’m saying, I’m half-sorry, since I know for a fact I wasn’t brought up as appearance being the one-and-all that makes a person). I’m going to admit it. I was a “big girl”, I was probably a little weightier than I should’ve been, but I was healthy. I swam, ran/walked, rode my bicycle and played with toy guns with my younger brother and some friends who camped close by throughout the summer. During the winter I was cross-country skiing, skating and ski-doing. I was a happy, healthy little girl. I was also one of the heavier kids in my class. Being born in a small town of less than 3000 people there would be a lot of discrimination about the overweight girl. But my friends didn’t start picking on that until later in our young years. I was picked on by some of my classmates that would also have a little extra meat on their bones. It’s a sad cruel world we live in, no?

But I always had my eyes.

I was always comfortable in my skin. I remember years ago, like junior high- grade 9, my mother and I went shopping for a winter jacket. We wound up starting at a ladies clothing store: Reitmans. It was a nice adult store and we went into the plus section to let me try a few jackets on. I tried one in my usual size, didn’t fit, we did this frequently because I had broader shoulders (curse you father :)) B

Otherwise I was still happy. I found clothes that I liked and wore them until there were holes in them. I was comfortable with myself. I never let society really get to me.y the time we found a jacket that “fit” me, I was in a 4X, I looked like I was wearing a circus tent in blue canvas. It was embarrassing. We didn’t actually find a coat until a trip to Edmonton where Sears was having a clearance sale of their winter stock. A mens jacket, burnt orange in color and down filled, it was amazingly warm and had faux-fur trim around the hood. I was happy, but disappointed that I had to buy mens clothing to fit me.

I’m an adult now. A few years back I was told I was a “good girl”. Too much of one actually. He refused to date me because of this. I knew he was lying. That’s the problem with a lot of a young men, they assume that my body was incapable of being in the relationship. They worry too much about how they are viewed by their peers. Chubby-chaser, anybody? I believe over the years I’ve compensated for my body with a great personality, easy-going disposition and overall great attitude towards anybody and everybody.

I don’t even know what “Good girl” means! Honestly. My guy described me as a good girl the other day, he couldn’t explain it to me. I don’t know how to take it. I take it as a compliment, nearly 3-years of the same relationship, he’s called me all the pretty names: beautiful, loving, caring, etc. But ‘good girl’ just has a ring that says, “you take things too much to heart”, am I wrong? Maybe I’m off, I’m not sure.

It’s all a lot of mush now. I don’t let society oppress me from what I want to do. I am more self-aware of myself. So needless to say after this long I’ve finally allowed the media to get into my head with their instant weight-loss, magic pills and their ads with tiny models. I never let it get to me completely. I’m happy with who I am, but I know I can do better.

And that’s the difference.




8 thoughts on “You’re Too Much of a “Good Girl”

  1. Its my senior year, I’ve always been this good girl…but now that I’m graduating in June I just want to let loose..My mom is very strict, Ive been sheltered in my four years of high school…I just feel like making out with a whole bunch of guys, go to the hookah bar, and just dress like a slut…I want to be a whole new person in college because I go to an all girl catholic high school..Is this wrong to feel like this? and oh yeah I can’t stop listening to cobra starship good girls go bad!

    • Dear Alenjandra,
      I’m going to say it in the best ways. You will regret going through with what you’re trying to accomplish. Be thankful that you mother has kept you on a “tight leash”. However, if you’re having such intense urges to become a bag girl maybe you just need to adventure about. Don’t go as far as making out with every Tom, Dick, and Harry who comes your way. I don’t know what your friendship status is like but maybe going out once in a while to meet new friends and mingle with general society will help with these “cravings”. If you want to go to a hookah bar, go for it! There’s no harm trying something new once in a while. Dress modestly but with a hint of flare. Girls do not need to dress provocatively to prove we have a personality. In fact, you might lose the respect that you have earned if you make any dramatic clothing changes. Be true to yourself and the greatest part about clothes/fashion is it can be altered any way you would like, without looking like you could contract an STD.
      Have fun and don’t do anything you might regret 🙂

  2. I have always used “good girl” as a compliment such as “well done” but now I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t use it as when my cats do something like roll over I say “good girl” 😀

  3. I am a good girl. Been called one quite a few times. I am terrified of getting in trouble and will not so much as cross any line that might get me in trouble. I don’t step out of my box often and when I do I usually have to be pushed to take that first step. I am very quiet and shy but I am nice to everyone and never make fun of anyone, even to the people who have betrayed me or that are not my “kind” of people. I was always one of the girls in high school everyone wanted to date and with my cleavage shirts I probably looked a little “easy” if you will. However, I was one of the few girls that didn’t sleep around. I’m proud to be a good girl and there is nothing wrong with it (: As long as they see you as one, even if you are a dominatrix at heart, that is what counts. I take it as a compliment. Better than being a bad girl right? lol

    • Thanks for the comment, however, what’s with being bad once in a while? I know sometimes watching some of the friends back in high school, they made it all seem too easy. I can definitely say that what you have pointed out is very similar to myself, since I too was/am like you are. Although, I think my rebellious side gets the best of me sometimes. But not enough to be considered a “bad girl”. I like trying new things and being outside my box. You’d need fast-drying cement to try to keep me in one place…
      However, it still doesn’t describe why I’m considered a good girl. Sure, I’m generous, caring, forgiving, etc and all other adjectives but seriously… What gives?

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