Randomized

Feelings


Has it been a week yet? It certainly feels like it. I left last Friday and I suppose that fact that it’s Thursday it’s pretty darn close. I’m not sure how I’m suppose to feel like.

I’ve had a lot of inspiring words from friends, and it truly made me feel blessed that even though I haven’t seen some of them since we graduated from high school that they are amazing enough to want to continue keeping in contact. These are the kinds of friends people should have. The ones that travel abroad and although we don’t talk much we can still have an amazing conversation.

My mother, bless her soul, constantly wants to keep me busy. Or is always around. That’s the downside to her being unemployed, not purposely, but she’s still there all the time. Iève actually taken up disapearing to a local café to take advantage of their WIFI as well as just to get out of the house. My room, which is in the basement, is far too quiet. So I’ll sit at this café until I get tired of sitting here – wooden chairs hurt after awhile. Anyhow…

How I feel. I don’t really know how I feel right now. When I’m on Facebook I fight myself to see if Iz has publicly posted a picture of him and his new toy. The last time I was there they took a picture of holding each other’s hand, standing in the shallow water of a lake with the sun setting in front of them. It made me angry and hurt because I couldn’t get him out of the house to do shit like that. Now apparently she can get him to jump the moon if that were humanly possibly. So I’m just better off forgetting he ever existed rather than expecting him to try to call me back to ask how I’m doing.

It’s my birthday in a few more days. I’ll be 24. I’m not sure how I should feel about the aging process or even if it’s worthwhile celebrating. In all honesty, I think I’ll just skip my birthday this year. All the people I’d love to celebrate with are in Edmonton or (will shortly be) in India. Fort McMurray is a lonely place to sum up.

I’m currently working on this whole education thing. I’ve decided on the top 2 options within the province in regards to educational institutes; Mount Royal University which is in Calgary or University of Alberta which is in Edmonton. I’m not afraid of going back to Edmonton. If I find a place to stay it just won’t be in the same building, even if I’d love to go back to my landlords because they were amazing! I’m sure I can find a cheaper location in the same area.

I’m not sure what’s really going to happen. I’m still unemployed and will shortly become my mother’s chauffeur until I find myself a job. I’ve decided that worst case scenario I’ll reapply with my old stomping ground of retail until something more realistic comes around. I’m either under or over qualified so I don’t know what the Hell to except brood.

– Nym

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